


Words That Are Inked Into My Heart

by SarahZorEL



Series: Why Making Lena Evil Is A Dick Move- SuperCorp Explained [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Best Friends, F/F, Feels, Heart-to-Heart, Heartbreak, Identity Reveal, Love, Romantic Friendship, Secret Identity, SuperCorp, alien - Freeform, supergirl - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-05-07 08:20:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14667099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahZorEL/pseuds/SarahZorEL
Summary: Kara and Lena get trapped in the Elevator on their way up to see Ruby and things are revealed.-Expanding 3x18, Showing Kara's thought process and subsequent feelings on how Lena sees Supergirl. My own little twist on the elevator scenario.





	1. Chapter 1

**

"Supergirl went behind my back and used my personal relationships against me, that's like something my mother would do. She crossed a line and I can never trust her again."

Kara's heart sank as she stood looking towards the Luthor heir eyes gleaming, welling with tears. Looking down abruptly, blinking. Forcing herself to stay resolute within her posture. Kara's breath stuttered as she felt the rising bile towards the back of her throat. A thick heavy lump lying like a paperweight of solid lead across her heart stopping her from moving, feeling... lungs expanding... _breathing._  

Images of Lillian flashed through her thought process, _all of the evil she'd done._

_... all of the pain she'd caused._

_... all of the people she'd killed._

The Kidnapping, the _cage,_ Medusa, The Alien Registry- all of those times Lena had confided just _how_ despicable Lillian could be, to her own daughter no less _and that's what Lena thinks of me._   

Accompanying images of Lillian were all the victims of Kara's greatest losses. All those _she'd killed,_ by accident in battle... the choices _she'd made._ Where they really that comparable?

Times where she wasn't fast enough.

Times where a stray sheet of concrete had caught passersby during a fight.

Looking back up to Lena, the corners of two bloodshot blue eyes just glancing in her direction, lips trembling, studying, watching for any sign of a lie... or  _that she'd said it in the heat of the night._

But no Lena's composure was sturdy, unbroken, wholly sound. Face aligned with honesty and layered with spite. 

Those words... the things she said... hurt more than _Kryptonite,_ Reigns punches and even what happened to _Jeremiah_ combined. 

 _Not that she'd ever cop to that,_ she's always loved Jeremiah... _he was a second father._

-but he was Cadmus.

 _And Lena sees me in the same light._ She thinks I have a god complex.... do I? 

Running her hand through her hair _Rao I really fucked up didn't I?!_

Breaking the silence Lena lifted her bag up not noticing Kara's tragic lack of enthusiasm. "So I didn't know what flavour Ruby likes so I bought every flavour" Laughing, Kara joining in trying not to sound so obvious "I hope you brought your appetite" 

Nodding her voice wavered "Oh... you know me." _At least I thought you did. I thought I did._

Biting her lip, she gulped back a sob threatening to escape- she couldn't do this, _she couldn't lose Lena._

 _Not again_ , she's lost far too many people she's loved and now Kara was afraid _of losing her._

Sniffling lightly, all of the emotion of the past few days caught up with her, like a freight train. The _hurt,_ the feelings of betrayal. Kara knew she was being irrational, letting her fears dictate her actions... _her words._ But she couldn't help but let it get personal, finding out that Lee was lying that she'd kept things from her all of this time- it just twisted something inside and made her overreact but not just that... this year after everything that's happened, looking to that green rock sickened her causing more than just a physical reaction... it touched upon something internally... it was the remainder of a deceased planet...  _her world._ Even if it was a copy... made up inside of her laboratory it still curdled those memories... 

... of when she witnessed _the explosion_ because she _saw_ that chemical reaction. Knowing that the one thing that could harm her was the only thing that existed of krypton made it personal... hit her harshly. Clark didn't get that.

... for him it **was** _just_ about safety, he was a human that had trouble with his own mortality but Kara no, she's faced death.. ironically lived through her own for over two decades... that wasn't the reason- at least not fully. 

A reason of _many reasons_ was that reminders like that.. of her _home..._ of feeling so _weak,_ taking away any lasting strength both physically and emotionally that she could hold onto. It took the last thing she had left... it took her heart and scarred it to the point she didn't know how to continue getting back up.  _I mean look at what happened with PSI-_ if she doesn't have Supergirl... if she can't stay strong in either persona... can't keep that Alien part of herself then what does she have? 

Turning her head one line stood out-  _You don't have Lena._

At that Kara really did loose it, she'd zoned out of the conversation half way through the elevator ride her head was blazing, ears ringing with the sounds of her mothers cries, of every goodbye... of Lena's curt and cutting words... of every insecurity she's ever had about not _really_ being the hero, of not saving those she loves.... of not protecting Kal.. of Lillians HOWLING laughter, of Mon-El and _his wife.,_ of _loosing everything.... she felt so weak even without the added Kryptonite._

So she cried. Tears trickling a furious path down to a Kryptonian mouth, mucus lining a Nasal passage, as it steamed up her glasses and she was caught- caught between two halves of herself.... of two lives separated by over a decade of LIES.

Cocking her head to a withering sound that's when Lena finally noticed how far Kara had fallen. Surprise and supreme concern flashing through her as she rushed across a small tin box towards a hurting friend "Kara... Kara what's wrong?!" 

Grabbing hold of her she shrunk down to the floor and that's when everything went dark- the elevator coming to a shrieking halt as Lena lurched forward. Encased in blackness... silence, just creaking and two sets of heavy breathing Lena crawled over to Kara who was hunched in a corner. Placing two hands _she was trembling,_ moving to her head _she was clammy_ and sweaty. "Oh Kara sweetheart, please tell me what's wrong?!" 

Through hiccups and shaky inhales "I-I can't lose y-ou leee" 

Lena's face folded, confusion evident "Why on earth would you think that darling?"

Kara closed her eyes and held her breath _its time_....

"Because- because I'm Supergirl"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Due to Popular Demand ;) Sorry it's been a while. Reviews appreciated!

Lena froze... dread slamming into her like thor's heavy handed hammer. It was at that point she was practically Matsura Sayohime  _[Otohihime] orsome other obscure Japanese legend because_  atheist or not right now- Lena was praying so hard  _for it all not to be true_  that the cold blooded Luthor had definitively turned into stone...  _just_ _like the history books._

Visage pale and apathetic a mirage of thoughts bombarded her as she pieced together the last two years of their life together- all of those nights with Kara... the...  _odd_ mannerisms... the quirky one liners with _strange_ endings like 'Flew here on a bus'. The way Supergirl had looked at her when it was a choice between saving a plane full of deadly chemicals and her  _like it was an impossible choice._

_Like it wasn't a choice at all._

All of those times it was only Lena, Kara and Supergirl against the world-

_I should've known._

It's hilarious really- in fact... it was outright comical, because they'd shared the  _exact_ same friendship group. Lena had been to most of Kara's parties and game nights... they'd even shared a Christmas together and as  _always_  the sorority of DEO 'Super-helpers' would come standing proud, with only one thing missing- the caped hero National Cities little 'Darling'  _herself._

Originally she'd tried to palm it off as just coincidence  _honestly_... the one blonde missing replaced with an equally cheery blonde wearing added spectacles.  _God she has been idiotic._ Just the way those two...  _Alex and Supergirl_   _aka_ the _Danvers Sister_ duo had been twining in that mystical Kryptonian realm  _Juru_  should've told her _everything._

So many goddamned clueeees- ones that she'd missed, things that'd clearly been wiped from memory  _maybe mother put something in my scotch._

_I even witnessed Kara Danvers flying after that attack from Morgan Edge._

Christ.

 _Ignorance truly was bliss._ Some GeNiUs she was- four PhD's, a multitude of high ranking classy awards and a STEM Ambassadorship and oblivious  **she'd stayed.**

 _Lets strip those accolades away shall we_   _I'm underserving of the term genius when I couldn't pinpoint Supergirl was my best friend_... a ponytail and glasses.

...what an absurd...

... _simplistic..._

... _god awful..._

_...downright shitty..._

**Brilliant disguise.**

A flourish of emotions churned as she drifted away into the fabric of her mind scape processing and irritated- how does one deal with betrayal from a person they  _thought were_ one of the sweetest and purist people in the city?

Kara and Supergirl so different  _yet the same._

Kara was sweet and selfless

Supergirl was often arrogant and  _at times_ selfish

Kara was gentle.. genuine

Supergirl was powerful, manipulative and  _a liar!_

Kara was her best friend and at present Supergirl was practically a friendly obtuse rival.

 

**

 

So... Lena was stuck- bouncing and hopping from thought to thought, feel to feel...  _rage to hate_

Thrown around like a rag doll by her own angsty hormones and she was debating whether her anger would bubble up so much that today would be the day it'd all turn into one of those cult slasher movies.  _Wouldn't that be fun._

Logically... she knew there was good reason to keep the two identities separated  _a secret_.

Irrationally her brain swung to Lillian  _as it always did_ 'One day you'll see that I'm right Lena'

And she could- Kara was a liar, a cheat, a woman without honour...  _yet_

_Why can't I bring myself to denounce her quickly and kick her right out of here and away from my life?_

Any other person would've already faced the defiant Luthor's wrath and might, she'd have gotten  _sweet sweet_  revenge long before the words would had even been graced with the opportunity to vibrate against their vocal folds.

So why not Supergirl? Kara... _If that really was her name... wait._

Who was she  _really?_

Squinting  _I honestly don't fucking know do i?_

A flash of memories flooded her senses as Lena was overwhelmed with various experiences they'd shared together.

Crying with laughter on the couch as Kara had accidentally snorted her chocolate milk all over Lena's $2000 blouse.

Late night dunkin' donuts at LCorp leading only to a pair of best friends snuggling up and having a heartfelt discussion about  **life**   **for hours-** _how much of that was true?_

 _She's hidden so much._ I don't know a thing about Supergirl  _or before? Krypton- her alien heritage, what exactly she goes through each day. Kara hasn't allowed me to see into that at all.._ **When i've shared and given her the majority of my thoughts.**

And the one thing that hurts the most, her memory of the time when Lena had cried- Kara had  **promised**  she wasn't going  _anywhere._

_I guess thats not true they all leave eventually._

Zeroing in on the whimpering girl beside her face full with a stoic somber facade. Lena watched as Kara flinched- her breath was shallow, the supers lungs stinging on inhale due to the icy mask and cooling chilly flavour the youngest Luthor was giving her... hurt and heartbreak.

That was because of Kara Danvers.

Looking into perceptive blue hues they shone with a delicate short of sensitivity, an acceptance of the wrong she'd done- of how this revelation was hurting Lena and it was just..  _too much_.

Swinging back around- one hand clasped against her jaw. Hard and unyielding Lena bit out "Can't you just get us out of here?!" noting their predicament and surroundings once more.

A whimper emanated from the corner of that dense box and Lena sighed pacing the confined space until she was calm, turning to press the 'Help' button..  _no answer._

Thats when a thought struck her "She _really is just like Lillian-_ exactly like the rest of the people I've allowed even a foothold into my life."

Turns out...  _she'd said that out loud._

-and it had only made things much-much worse. All sounds were converging onto Kara, until she was curled into a ball  _rocking._  The pain evidently  _too much to handle._ Lena's voice was echoing and bouncing off the small four walls.

Puffing out a "Fuck!" Lena squatted down low relenting as she saw the super in such distress "Supergirl, Supergirl, KARA! Listen to me ok... listen to my voice- my respiration rate, my clothing shifting and the sound of each of my bodies functions. Focus on that... find a way to bring yourself back... to block everything out."

Sighing, vulnerable she reluctantly admitted in realisation "I need you." It was  _that-_ that brought Kara slowly back. Lena observing her ritual, a  _smidge curious_ as Kara purposefully started blocking noises out one by one.

Like an inner game of ping pong- an internal battle waging, determination set in something the blonde struggled to win. The net was converging silently and it had  _almost_ managed to envelope her  _almost._ But once the blonde had heard Lena's words... that'd given her enough strength and courage to make  _those sounds_  stop.

-finally she retrieved that ball  _HER emotions_  victorious and timidly came back to reality.

Now the only thing that was pumping through two Kryptonian ears was a heartbeat- rapid and insistent. Listening in Kara could hear how todays events had been inked in.. the rhythm regularly stuttering... _different._

It was Lena's, dancing and whooshing... vibrating with intensity and frankly  _i_ _t was the only thing that mattered most._


	3. Chapter 3

_'What we perceive as solid matter is mostly empty space. Just as we may perceive that a life is full that is actually a series of empty encounters.' -_ Walter Bishop. 

* * *

 

"Lee-lee??"

Kara blinked limbs sunken and weighted- rigid and dizzied. Head barely lifting as she heard Lena shift and stumble until her shoulders slid down the far wall, pristine black trench thoroughly crumpled and dusty. The metal groaned- panging as the brunettes skull thumped backwards against the silvered doors. Huffing... Lena closed her emerald orbs silently- breathing rather deeply as she debated where _that_ confession had even come from. 

A few moment's passed and Kara looked up disquietly upon hearing  "Peanut Butter Cup or Cookie Dough?" 

That's when Kara found Lena rifling through a white bag and pulling out a set of plastic spoons, seemingly ardent on using the frozen cream for her own type of transcendental mediative escape.  

Squeaking somewhat guiltily "But uh ... what about Ruby?"

Lena half shrugged uncaring after Kara's little revelation "It'll melt before we manage to get out of here as I'm sure you need a few moments to gather yourself so... _why not_. If anything I need the liquid encouragement, that is unless you have an alternative perhaps a bottle of bourbon hidden within your purse?" One eyebrow raised in challenge the CEO was unaffected by her own level of sass and sarcasm. 

Kara shook her head- still a little dazed and not quite grasping the subtle _not so subtle_ layers of contempt Lena was spitting out and showering the whole rao-damned compartment with.

"So which one?" the peeved brunette beauty continued- as she held out both in parallel- head bowed as her irises glinted staring upwards, essentially goading Kara into taking her pick. Shyly the Kryptonian reached for the cookie dough only to stop short as Lena yanked her hand back suddenly- removing the tub from her orbit and purposefully handing over the nutty _consolation prize_.

It was a known trait to crinkle in times of sadness or irritation and so the blonde crinkled in a type of somber questioning.

Lena noticed and remarked "you get that one... so at least now you know what it's like to loose something you love...  _that you thought was something else."_

 _Glaring she_ removed herself entirely leaning back down onto the metal, uncaring to as why Kara just stayed there- on her knees, lip quivering as she stared into the frosted peanut butter pot like it held all of life's untapped answers. 

Combing the edge of her stolen cookie dough, tasting it's sweet _sweet_ victory the business woman brazenly sucked the spoon dry- content to do that for however long it took for them to suffocate and die..  _or rather... for her to suffocate and die because **someone** isn't as human as she once thought._  Inadvertently glancing up in a ball of rash _unthought out_ fury she lashed a halo of hurt over in Supergirl's direction- all due to the fact  _Kara was still there... sulking_ "Oh come on! you can't be serious! you have absolutely NO RIGHT to be playing the  _victim!"_

Kara's brow furrowed even deeper all the whilst she practically _tore_ the lid off her own shabby seconds and shoved a humongous load into her mouth so that she wouldn't argue back and dig herself into an even deeper hole with someone who was _supposed_ to be her best bud.

Acknowledging the sudden shift in attitude Lena couldn't help sourly commenting "Cape in a bunch I see obviously you don't like hearing the truth." Rolling two very jaded eyes voice laced with venom " _God.._ you really do have such a fucking god complex."

 _ **Thats-**_ that's when Kara Danvers snapped.

Still feeling muddled and  _shitty_  from her recent overload she couldn't take it anymore "RAO LENA WILL YOU SHUT UP!!!! I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LOOSE SOMETHING I LOVE BECAUSE I LOST THE WHOLE OF FUCKING KRYPTON. EVERYONE I TOUCH TURNS TO ASH... THEY DIE... THEY LEAVE AND THEY ALWAYS ABANDON ME. SO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE!"

Taking a huge puff of air relinquishing control of her lungs- tearing them out and handing them over to her emotional outburst. She tried strenuously to calm down as the Luthor heir just looked over in something akin to shock. 

Kara sighed taking herself a _notch_ lower and feeling guilty _all over again,_ biting her thoroughly chewed lip justifying "... aaa-and I'm not trying to play the victim. I know this is my fault you don't have to keep reminding me. I ruined this... I kept things from you but your not  _perfect_ in this either lee... you  **lied** just as much as me- maybe not about who you are but about other things... so don't try be all innocent  _because your not."_

The Luthor balked "You have some nerve."

"Uhuh" the blonde just nodded keeping her focus directly on the pot choosing not to look in Lena's direction not once, blue hues purposefully trained on her pudding as she kept on spooning the ripples of froth like they were a foresight into the buckets of tears she'll be weeping before this is all over and done. 

Sat in silence again- if you could visualise the tension you wouldn't even be able to see the duo, they'd be cast within a towering shadow of hostility, grief-stricken unproductiveness and flesh eating sorrow. 

Lena  _eventually_  squirmed feeling repentant and a touch rueful a _nd that was barely scraping the surface of her flummoxed amygdala._

Murmuring "I'm sorry... I-  _didn't think_ of Krypton when I said those things  _but_ the rest still applies."  Voice rising in pitch genuinely uneasy at being so forthcoming, their eyes connected and Lena's mask was sharp as she relentlessly channelled her inner warrior trying to keep herself from all out bawling in front of the super  _I might be pathetic but i'm not that pathetic._

Kara listened apprehensive but curious nonetheless at where in rao's name this conversation was going...

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone!! Sorry It took so long, I took a little time out from this but now i'm back for Supercorp Sunday! I wanted to say to everyone how much i've truly appreciated your input and feedback and the time you've taken to leave a comment for me especially in the last chapter were i had asked what you'd like out of this fic moving forward. The response was incredible and really helped me to decide on what direction to take this in. I was going to respond individually but I realised that i'd be deleting that chapter anyways (to make way for this one) so it might be best to leave this here instead. So Thank you!! <3 <3 [and to clarify, this will now be a six parter]

_'Don't we all want to paint ourselves into something better than we are?' - Dorian Grey_  

* * *

Head shaking, bewilderment was creeping through every freckle, pore and facial muscle so much so- that her tightly wound bun bobbed even after she had stopped moving.

Contorted _staring off_ into the throes of an existential crisis- mulling on a puzzle that she was struggling to disassemble.

Lena tore away pieces- _questions_  bit by bit from that scrunched up ball of tangled neurones

Attempting to read off her thoughts like a line from a cheap fortune cookie, Lena untangled the easiest one of all...

 _"_ Why _?"_

Kara gaped a little...

_Why did I keep this from you?_

_Why am I telling you now?_

_Why am I your friend?_

_Why am I here?_

_Why didn't I trust you?_

_Why did I say those things in Juru?_

_Why did I ask James to look into you?_  

So many possible endings to that question and the Kryptonian wasn't sure which one she actually meant... so she went with- 

Insecure and guessing  _"Um.._ Why didn't I tell you?? _"_ Lena nodded chewing the pink skin on the inside of her palette so that her lips were tightly wound over to one side, the expression she held was pained as she awaited the outcome of Kara's explanation- one that was just likely full of lies and excuses.

Kara sighed shoulders slumping "I don't know" voice trembling in sincerity.  

Lena blinked, absorbing and scrutinising until the business woman realised... hushed asking-

"You... _don't know?"_

Fidgeting, twisting so that her hands were buried straight into her knees trying to feel _something_ other than clawing responsibility.

Debating "I-...I suppose I'm not good at being human." 

Kara said that as if it were the answer to the goddamn multiverse _, but_ forLena she _might as well have_  recited a list of grocery shopping for all the use it did and her own response likely would've been the same for all the rational sense it made- it just made her thoughts even more scrambled inside of her _fucked up_ cranium. 

Quiet deliberating a little more inpatient... scraping a nail on the ground looking down.

"But you were always... _human_... at least to  _me?"_

_"Exactly"_

The clear miscommunication was evident in the looks between them, so the blonde tried to explain things- clearing her throat, eyes weak and betraying "Um for-for so long... I've been... _hiding,_ everything not just who I was but... who I AM.

-If I haven't been hiding that I'm an alien, an oddity, my past on Krypton- then I've been hiding my.. my personality as Supergirl, because I have to be strong.. stoic, I can't have emotions- at least not ones that cause humans to carry stigma." 

Shifting, her muscles were tense _frigid_ and it was apparent that Kara was finding it hard to figure out exactly how to word what it was that she was wanting to say- how to tell some of her biggest insecurities. 

Eyes pacing over the scrawl of the English language on the sign above, almost wishing they were symbols not unlike the world in which she grew up. 

"Um... it's like I'm stuck between two.. no _three_ halves of myself, Supergirl has to be better than me... _the real me._ She has to be untouchable, untraceable Godlike maybe.. because she can't seem real... _not as you or I..._ she's a fallacy someone to provide hope and inspiration."

Shifting on her knees. 

"But then there's Kara Danvers- the human who likes what we share together because It means she doesn't have to hide her fragility, she gets to embrace her humanity and it's okay if _she_ stumbles or if she has nightmares about her tumultuous past because _she knows_ you'll be there. She gets to have a best friend and um to... _love,_ she's the one who gets to breakdown.. she's the one who gets to be happy and have domesticity in a life full of instability."

Exhaling Lena just sat with her walls fraying gently.

Rambling...

"Though... all in all she isn't perfect Lena nor does she have enemies willing to kill those she holds dear, she doesn't have an image to uphold, she absorbs all of the emotional baggage Supergirl doesn't get to carry and that means her selfishness too... she's only human." 

Bowing in shame "-and that's what I meant when I said I'm no good at being human. That's utterly true because I'm still getting used to navigating these emotions, let alone _separately_ and I let the worst ones of all dictate my morality with you- at least when it came down to our relationship. Fear.. selfishness... greed... That made me justify continuing to pretend. I convinced myself that it was for the best because then it meant I got to keep you for the part of me that has always felt needy, the woman  _riddled with anxiety._ It also meant then that this whole situation It didn't have to change... I'm no good with change."

Jerking her head, nodding to herself.

"So I'm sorry. I know I was wrong... I really really do." 

"It took me a while to see it but I need all of them... all three identities."

Lena frowned, and Kara leant inward.. subconsciously moving closer. Lena raised an eyebrow, holding herself in.

Tears falling "Your my hero Lena, you always have been, your my inspiration and my hope, your _my_ Supergirl and my family."

Lena's face was pained. 

"All these years your something I was never allowed to have, someone whom doesn't see me as an invulnerable alien with superpowers like _Winn or James_ , you see past the cape.. to who I am at my core- even when not knowing who I actually was you still just knew _me_."

She shrugged "you always saw all of my faults and weird little traits and you never even batted an eyelash, even then- you always see my soul before anything else  _even the glasses."_

She chuckled wetly, wiping her nose.

Absorbing the garble of information- green eyes glassy upon taking a moment to recollect herself. Lena's lips parted she wasn't one for such emotion, this was such  _new_ territory repeating "You said three identities... three people? _Kara Danvers, Supergirl-_ so who is... the third? _"_

Understanding dawning acquiring the truth behind Supergirl.

 _again "_ Who is the real you?"

That's when two starlit orbs crinkled at their corners and Kara's expression differed from what it used to be. 

Lena's orbit had thoroughly shifted. 

The cheeky, quippy blonde was suddenly no longer either persona. It was like a magic curtain had begun a grand unveiling and she was that child waiting to meet Santa or something... _they both wear red and fly... it works._

With the grace and poise of Supergirl but the voice of Kara _Sunshine_ Danvers... she announced.

" _Kara Zor-El"_

_And there it was._

Her true self.

The person she'd never met until this hour. 

 A merge of personalities. 

The person that according to Kara  _she'd always_ _subconsciously noticed._

Currently the Luthor just didn't know how to feel. She figured for the most part Kara's answers were genuinely truthful which was far more than she'd thoroughly expected when waiting for some sort of justification but there was still such a part of her corporeal flesh that felt akin to stinging nettles as each bad thought had crept throughout her limbs only to converge on her love for Kara Danvers- _knowing_ that **this** Kara wasn't the person she'd once entrusted her deepest of secrets too, the girl she'd pulled straight into her own magnetic field and been okay with when _she'd allowed_  that woman past any barrier that she might've held. 

It was now at present moment that all that could be heard in the elevator shaft was a stuttering breath, alongside a strangely mute alien lady who continued on listening intently to time as it ticked by, until surprisingly... it halted.

Blurting "So thats _why_ you hurt me?" Timid... Lena hadn't even meant to say it nor sound like _that_ ,  _she was loosing control of her speech pattern more times in one elevator journey than the amount of baby animals being birthed in spring time._

Helpless- more a monotone of acceptance now, Sighing "As I said... I didn't want to loose that precious thing that we had together, the one thing I thought I'd never get again... then I suppose the more our paths diverged the more you started hating on Supergirl the more I became tangled into this stupid web of lies and deceit."

Gulping, she was trembling a little...

"...but that was never my intention- I never wanted to hurt you, I'd never do that purposefully. It was just inevitable" shrugging "because if I told you the truth you'd be broken you'd feel betrayed, but if I kept on pretending that'd be just as bad too and in every which way I turned I realised there was just no way of getting out of this guilt ridden mess of my own creation."

accepting-

"... so yea, I allowed it. I don't knowwhy _fully_ , but I've tried to explain at least some of my reasonings- your just special to me Lena Luthor and because of that i've made some terrible decisions, that I _completely_ take the blame for. I do however think that a part of it was due to growing up on earth in a different culture and being forced to become this strange ditchomy that even I don't quite understand."

Lena just blinked- she couldn't help but feel a little sarcastic- because cl _early the excess rambling was one thing she hadn't only **pretended** to have. _

**Author's Note:**

> If y'all like this, please subscribe to the series. I'll be adding more stories on things I'd wished we'd gotten from SuperCorp in S3. Including a piece on Lena and Cat finally meeting. Stay Tuned! 
> 
> Thanks for Reading! 
> 
> \----> Twitter: [ @SarahRAWWR15 ](https://twitter.com/SarahRAWWR15)
> 
> Tumblr : [ sarahzorel ](http://sarahzorel.tumblr.com/)


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